I Don't Want To Go (the Foolproof remix)
by kathiann
Summary: Something had gone wrong, horribly wrong. It wasn't supposed to end like this. A remix of Foolproof by Ruuger. Warning for major character death.


**Authors Note: **Written for the Remixathon on the Paint It Red forum. The original story is "Foolproof" by Ruuger over on AO3, I highly suggest that you read it because it was amazing. I modeled the character of Death on the Death in the Discworld novels, but you don't need to be familiar with them to enjoy this, Death is after all, universal. Set as an alternitave ending of sorts to the season 4 finale "Crimson Hat".

**I Don't Want to Go (the Foolproof remix)**

Something had gone wrong. He knew this because he was laying on the ground, and though he could see someone with hands pressed against his neck and chest, he could not feel it. He sat up and that's when he knew things had gone horribly not as planned. His body was still laying on the ground.

"I don't believe in life after death," he said to no one in particular.

IN MY EXPERIENCE THAT DOES NOT MATTER. Jane looked to where the voice, and he used that term loosely, had come from and saw a figure in a black robe with a scythe that looked like it would be at home more on a farm than in the suburbs of Las Vegas.

"And Death too, maybe I'm not dead. Maybe I'm just unconscious."

I ASSURE YOU, MR. JANE, YOU ARE DEAD.

"Isn't there supposed to be a white light or something?" Jane asked, feeling against all odds just a little silly.

IS THAT WHAT YOU BELIEVE?

"No."

THEN WHY WOULD THERE BE?

"I don't believe I'm life after death and yet here I am."

THIS IS NEITHER HEAVEN NOR HELL. THIS IS SIMPLY DEATH.

Jane said nothing. He stood and walked towards the figure in the long black robe. "I don't want to leave."

MOST PEOPLE DON'T.

Jane watched as paramedics arrived and began to evaluate him for the necessity of CPR, he knew it would be pointless but didn't think he could stop then. It didn't take long before they realized he was not going to be getting up.

"I had it all planned out. I knew I was going to win this time. Guess I was wrong."

IT WOULD APPEAR THAT WAY.

Jane watched as police arrived and began to cordon off the alley where his body lay. Faking a breakdown. Getting in with the wrong people. Looking and watching for Red John. All of his work for nothing. Lisbon would be upset...Lisbon.

"What about..."Jane started ,then stopped. He couldn't bring himself to say her name.

SHE WILL NOT COME HERE.

"Oh? And how do you know that?" He didn't look at the figure beside him. Though Jane was dead, a skeleton wearing a robe was still a bit odd to him.

I AM DEATH. I SEE ALL TIME. I SEE ALL PLACES.

"What if...what if I wanted to see her again?"

DEATH IS FINAL. IT CANNOT BE UNDONE. It seemed to Jane that he, if Death could be called he, was thinking. Though, if pressed for an explanation in how he knew, he would not be able to put it into words. I CAN HELP, Death said after a moment, FOLLOW ME.

WIthout giving warning Death turned and started to walk away. It seemed almost as if he was gliding. Jane glanced once more at his body. The coroner had just arrived and was looking over his didn't recognize him, why would he, and didn't want to know what he was thinking. Sighing Jane turned and followed Death.

It was a shock to Jane to walk through the brick wall of the ally into what should be a bar and end up somewhere else entirely. After leaving the brightness of the desert sun that was Las Vegas all year long, the dim hallway as a shock to his senses, though he knew he didn't really have those any more. He walked down the hall following Death to a door at the end. It was a nondescript door, the kind he'd seen a million times before. This was where his body would be. Jane knew it. Death had said that he knew all time, perhaps he could travel through time as well. What would it matter to death if he jumped around, it wasn't like _he_ was alive.

He could hear voices coming from behind the door, and as illogical as it was he took a deep breath before he followed Death through the door without opening it.

"We tried to track down his next of kin, but..."

"He doesn't have any family."

Jane knew that voice, had missed it all the while he'd been faking his break down and now in death. Lisbon. His precious Lisbon. His one real friend. Always there for him.

He watched the same coroner he'd seen at the site where his body had been so unceremoniously beaten and dumped pull back a white sheet covering a body. It was his. He looked so pale, beat up, swollen. Is this what the "enforcers" had done to him?

"It's him." Her voice echoed through the room. "How did he die?"

Was it's Jane's imagination, or did the coroner hesitate before telling her? Jane listened while the coroner recounted the trauma his body had gone through. Was there anything those thugs hadn't done to him? He doubted he was supposed to have ended up dead, after all, you couldn't get money out of a deadman. Did the coroner say ruptured liver? That couldn't have ended well no matter if he was in the alley all night or not.

"Would you like a moment alone?" The coroner asked Lisbon.

"Thank you." Her voice sounded far away and sad. He had never wanted to put her through this.

Jane stepped over to stand next to his body in the spot just vacated by the coroner. Across the empty flesh between them he thought he saw tears glistening in Lisbon's eyes.

"I'm sorry Libson, I didn't plan it to end like this." He wished that she could hear him, wished that he could explain.

"You stupid, stubborn, selfish son of a bitch. Why couldn't you ask for help?"

Anger. A good healthy emotion in a situation like this. If she was angry she couldn't be sad.

"I was going to ask for your help." he spoke softly, as if telling her now of his plans could help her, comfort her, in some way.

"Or was this part of your plan? Getting yourself killed in the most ridiculously stupid way possible? And the what? Stay dead until Red John dies of old age?"

"It wasn't supposed to end like this. I had it all worked out. Death was not part of the plan." He saw her fists clentch by her side and wanted to reach out and confront her, but knew it wouldn't do any good. He was dead after all. He could walk through walls, he didn't think he could touch her.

"He won, do you understand that? Red John won." Her voice was shaking, as though she was trying not to cry. She closed her eyes and Jane knew she was trying to hold back the tears.

"I know. I wish I had talk to you first. I wish I had told you what I was going to do. But I didn't and I can't have regrets. I can only promise you that it's going to be ok, Lisbon. Everything will be ok. I know it's hard now, but it will get better. You are a strong woman. I know it will be ok."

He watched as she opened her eyes and looked down at his body again. Her hand came to rest on his now bare left hand. He could resist the temptation to touch her one last time no longer. He reached out his hand and gently laid it on hers, surprised slightly when it remained on top of her hand.

"I think I may have loved you, Lisbon." He said, his voice thick with emotion he should no longer have.

"I know you wouldn't want me to pray for you, so I won't." She moved her hand from beneath his unknowingly, and stroked his bodies hair. "Goodbye, Jane. I hope you're at peace now."

She turned and left the room, Jane watching her.

"I don't want to leave her." He said to the silent figure that had watched the entire exchange.

IT IS TOO LATE FOR THAT.

"What if she...what happens?"

THAT IS FOR ANOTHER TIME, MR. JANE.

The world around Jane started to fade, he knew that his time was short. "I'm going to miss her."

NO, MR. JANE. I DO NOT THINK YOU WILL.


End file.
